Sunday, March 31, 2019

A Cancer Survivor With Bipolar At A Rock Show


I wasn’t suicidal, per se, but I had definitely and altogether lost my will to live. I sat down on a flimsy deck chair outside Toast in Norfolk around 10:30pm. My boyfriend, Mikey, and his roommate/bestie were still listening to the rock band play. I whispered (shouted in his ear) to Mikey that I wasn’t feeling well and was going to go sit down. This was true, but not in the physical sense. I was sobbing internally, attempting to hold it together (I was in public, you know). I couldn’t stand it anymore.

What I couldn’t stand was the overwhelming feeling of suffering and sorrow that I felt with each intoxicated face that passed before me. Don’t get me wrong; no one was walking around with a big sign on their head that said, ‘I’M IN PAIN,’ but I knew it to be true because to live is to suffer.

I don’t say that to be dark or cynical. It’s just the sum of the empirical data I have compiled over the course of my 24 years on this lonely planet.

I finally got home and made it to the refuge of my room with a candle still lit (oops…). I texted Mikey, ‘I haven’t stopped shaking all day.’ I should have known that going to a festival of concerts with all the noise and lights and people was not good for me; I could have told you that to be true beforehand. But I wasn’t thinking and I decided to go anyways.

You see, episodes of bipolar disorder have triggers. Unique to the individual, some of mine happen to be bright lights, loud noises, and, most especially, crowds.

My mind keeps torturing me with the replaying of a scene from tonight over and over. I was sitting by the door to the bar when a young man, who looked to be around my age (24), walked outside into the chilly March air dressed quite nicely. He was casually slipping on a beanie that covered up the fact that he was completely bald. I wondered if he was in the middle of chemo or had alopecia. Either way, it was the straw that broke this camel’s back. I couldn’t conceive of him suffering in any way and me not being there to help him.

Was I experiencing a weird form of survivor’s guilt? That my portion of pain was removed with clear margins with one horrific, 8-hour surgery rather than months of agonizing chemo? ‘Anna, stop. You’re thinking too much into this,’ I thought. Then I had the sobering realization that every single person at this festival had pain and a story and that I couldn’t take their pain for them no matter how badly I wanted to.

This was not a coherent post, and it doesn’t really have a point (I’ll tell you if I figure it out ;)). But I’ll just leave you with a quote and a thought, neither of which are mine originally, that offer some sort of response to this train wreck of a blog post.

First, a quote by Mr. Henri Nouwen: “Joy and sadness are born at the same time, both arising from such deep places in your heart that you can’t find words to capture your complex experience. But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence (Out of Solitude 277).”

In her seminal work, The Crucifixion: Understanding the Death of Jesus Christ, Fleming Rutledge makes a recurring point that ends with the book in a crescendo: the work of Jesus Christ on the cross will not only right every wrong on the Last Day, but will erase any memory of it.

Oh, Lord, I pray that’s true.

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