You know what's funny? I listened to Sufjan Stevens's "Casimir Pulaski Day", and it was by far my favorite song in high school before I internalized what it was saying about cancer. Two short years later, I would have people laying their hands on me for healing. Little did I know the quest that lay before me. When I watch the coronation scene of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, I always imagine my new name would be Anna the Brave. I was not the nicest or the sweetest, but I had guts.
That moxy faded quickly after the Whipple surgery. I was angry at God, even though I didn't dare verbalize it because I tried so hard to fit the mold of a good YL girl who was the leaders's favorite. But why was I vomiting with a nine inch scar severing my abdominal nerves and blood seeping out of my feeding and drainage tubes at 18 years old? I still don't know, but I screamed at the pain, even though I had friends over who could hear everything from the downstairs bathroom I was in. My dad wisely suggested they abandon their Infuse-Anna-With-Optimism shifts early that day.
But what I'm really writing to say is that I just finished an incredible book called Worth the Suffering by Jenna Henderson. It's a collection of her blogposts, prayers, and her friends's memories of her before she passed away in 2016.
I noticed a HUGE difference in the way we both blogged about our experiences. I am convicted. Buy the book. Read it. I'm sure you'll be challenged. I want my complaining to turn into thanksgiving and I want a fierce love of Jesus like it appears Jenna had in her 30 short years of life.
Thank you, Jenna, for the legacy you left us for when we suffer. I hope to be as valiant as you one day.
With love,
Anna Jo
You can buy the book here: https://www.worththesuffering.com
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