Why I Decided To Write A Book

Some of you might be wondering why I want to compile a book. There are a few reasons: to help people going through or who have gone through things similar to what life has tossed at me and for my posterity. But while reading Genesis 13:3-4, today, I was immediately struck with why I need to write this book… to return to the altar of my Lord.

So, long story short, Abram arrives in Canaan and builds his first altar to the Lord at Shechem after the Lord makes a promise of giving the land to him. Then he journeys up a mountainside pitching a tent with Bethel to the West and Ai to the East. There he built his second altar and “called upon the name of the LORD” (Genesis 12:8 NASB). This was his sweet spot, this was exactly where the Lord wanted him. But then a famine (read: circumstances of life) happened and he got scared of not having enough and left for Egypt, leaving his place of worship behind.

As many of you know, I had a bit of a prodigal summer this year (2018). It actually started in December of 2017 with intense anxiety and feelings of loneliness then devolved into addiction to Adderall (legally prescribed), alcohol, and men (Tinder). I can look back and see the devolution so clearly. My “famine” happened and I got scared that the Lord wouldn’t be enough so I left my sweet spot of faith and intimacy with Jesus and “headed on down to the land of the pines, thumbin’ my way into North Carolina (Egypt).”¹

I didn’t blog during this summer because I had nothing to say. I wasn’t right with the Lord and I frankly didn’t care. But God. But then God drew me up with his cords of kindness and lead me to repentance (which I’m still in the process of, by the way). But I was in so much pain still. I was in pain while I was with the Lord so I left, but Egypt didn’t offer anything for the famine of my soul. I remember breaking one night, falling on my knees on my bedroom floor and crying out to the Lord with groaning too deep for words: “I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD” (Psalm 40:1,2 NASB).

After Abram and co.’s brief and nearly disastrous foray into the land of Pharaoh, they returned through Negev to Bethel, “to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, to the place of the altar which he had made formerly: and there Abram called on the name of the LORD” (Genesis 13:3,4 NASB). The Lord had drawn him out of his Egyptian sin and put a new song in his mouth.

The Lord is drawing me out of my Egyptian sin and putting a new song in my mouth. This blog has become a collection of stones of remembrance (Joshua 4), and now I’m turning it into an altar to cry out to my Lord and sing the new song he’s given me.

Thank you for all you who have supported this blog throughout the years (shout out mom and Nanny!). I hope that in compiling it into a book with some additional commentary and new material, I can help those who “dwell in [deepest] darkness” (Luke 1:79 NASB). Here is my altar; get ready for a sacrifice of praise (Hebrews 13:15 NASB)!!!

1. "Wagon Wheel" by Bob Dylan and Ketch Secor