Setting

My emotions have been all over the place. Up and down, left and right, everywhere. But one thing they’ve been is real and deep and founded in an everlasting Joy. Cancer is a hidden blessing. I know this sounds crazy, but hear me out. I would never have wanted this to happen to me and I pray that this disease will be entirely eradicated from the human race because I know the gravity of cancer and the severity of its damage. However, in the short amount of time I’ve known about this tumor, I have been convicted to live with more joy and love with more depth. I have been shown life in a radical new way that only proves the irresistible freedom of life with Christ.

A few nights ago, I went to an Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros concert. I don’t listen to them that much anymore, but I figured I might as well fit in as much fun as I can before July 2 (scheduled surgery date). However, I cannot explain how it was more than the most fun I’ve ever had at a show. I have never enjoyed the lights, energy, and performers at the NorVa so much, I have never enjoyed dancing like a little kid so much, I have never enjoyed being made fun of for said dancing so much, I have never enjoyed standing in a puddle of someone’s spilled beer so much, I have never enjoyed these trivial secularities oh so very much. And this is because I do not have to entrust my life to myself or anything else from this world. 

This cancer is something I have given up to a loving Father. And it has encouraged me to finally release my 

inhibitions (shout out Natasha Bedingfield) and live in the boundless freedom that Jesus calls us to. A captivating freedom that yields to none but Divinity Himself. My good friend said that it’s okay for me to feel bad for myself but, man, why should I? The relentless pursuit of the Holy Spirit after my heart has only set me free in this entire ordeal. While it’s true I would have never wanted this to happen, I know it has happened for a reason and I would never take it back. Christ saves my life every moment that I trust. I am finally alive and I could not be happier. 

 What I'm listening to:

 "You Are The Beauty(Live)" -Gungor

 "Glory Bound" -The Wailin' Jenny's                        

"So if the Son sets you free you will be free indeed." John 8:36