Hey, yall. Today officially marks four years since surgery,
so im reflecting a big on what I have learned because of cancer.
a)
I learned
to be less afraid of pain. Physical and emotional. Don’t get me wrong, I’m
not a masochist, but I think the ways that I was so very timid were shattered
during that experience. Pain is a part of life, but just like this life, we
must remember that it is very fleeting.
b)
I learned
to laugh. I don’t know what it was about that experience, but I notice that
for the first time in my life, I have really belly-laughed. It reminds me of
proverbs 31 when it says the woman laughs in the face of the future. That’s
real. With God I totally get that.
c)
I learned
to cry. I cry like A LOT now. I find myself seeking to identify with
people’s sufferings in a deeper way. I find myself crying at fireflies, movie
trailers, little kids on bike. If you’ve seen the movie Collateral Beauty…
collateral beauty. Its profound and it’s
like I’ve been given goggles as if to see for the very first time.
d)
I learned
what joy really is. At a worship service a few years ago, I asked God what
joy is. And the image that popped into my mind was of a moment in the hospital.
It was early in the morning, somewhere between the midnight and six am vitals
checks. I was in sooo much pain and my nurse walks in. I ask him if I can have
more pain meds and he said no but smiled and left the room. A few minutes later
he came back with a warm blanket to lay across my stomach. It was perfect and I
smiled. God told me that joy is the smile on a hospital bed. All was not well with
my circumstances, but all was well with me. Joy isn’t an emotion, it’s a state
of being. Because of Jesus, eternity and what is true, I have joy.
This blog started because of that tumor and I wanted to
thank you all for coming on this journey with me. You’ve seen the ups and the
downs and I pray you’ve been blessed. Let me know what you’ve learned because
of trying times. Much love, Anna
